I don't want, I just need it.

To Breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

please..

Please can I have a job?
I don't want to starve.
Please don't let my husband get laid off.
Please let school go really well.
I don't know if I can handle any more disappointment.
I can only eat ramen noodles so many times.
Please can you make everything better?
I don't know who I'm asking.

it's shit

I don't know why.. But for some reason I keep having horrible dreams.. Every night.. Doesn't matter what I think about going to bed, I wind up having a dream where it's a fucking horrible or scary situation.. Like, can't I get a fucking break? My dreams are real enough as it is.

On another note.. I hate the world.. and I swear to god if someone fucks with me today I will go off on them because I just can't take it anymore.

Alone

It's not too late.
But I'm alone. As always.


I did not realize how lonely I really was until today.

La mia prima entrata

I thought if the title of my blog was in Italian, that it would make me look more sophisticated or something.. If I had went with Spanish, it would have been the easy way out.

This is a blog about nothing. I'm not particularly chatty tonight, which is not usual for me.. I'm always up in bed thinking a lot, and wishing I had a laptop with me so I can type out what I'm thinking.
I'm starting school soon. Hooray! Maybe I can make some friends. Probably not.. People suck..

OK.. so.. How come people in the south automatically assume that you are also racist? Or that it's fine to talk smack about other people in front of you.. Like, hello! I was not raised a fucking hater. Just because your parents did not teach you to treat everyone equally and not to judge people, doesn't mean mine didn't. It sickens me that young people my age still refer to homosexuals as queers. Like are you fucking kidding me? I swear the next time I witness some of this hate Ima smack a bitch. LOL! It's the bible belt though, what can I expect. Oh and next time you try to shove your religion down my throat I'll fucking kick you in the face. I don't do religions..

I personally believe that having a religion is bullshit. Because you never know which one is correct, so why bother. I'd rather save face and not worship anything. I don't judge people.. whatever you want to believe is your thing.. I mean, if you want to think that an alien is the true ruler or that a giant sea monster is God, then whatever. But really.. You're just humiliating yourself. Animals don't worship anything. Why should we? Are homosapiens any better than a fuckin penguin? or marmoset?

That's all for now.